Today’s entry is a little philosophical. It’s also a little more revealing of myself than I am comfortable being. However, I’d really like to hear your thoughts on the subject.
As the tagline of this blog says, this is a place to explore ways to nurture ourselves. I am not writing from a standpoint of “Look at me. I’ve got all the answers.” I am writing because I too am exploring, I’m walking places I haven’t been before. I’m seeking out new territory. I’m telling you about good things I’m seeing along the way, but I am still very much on the journey. I have not arrived at the destination. I am asking the questions too.
And today’s question is, how do we balance being good to ourselves with being good? How can we balance nourishing ourselves with living a moral and ethical life?
Here is where I am coming from.
As you know from my last post, I am a Christian. That means I find my life’s meaning in the person of Jesus Christ. I try to follow the teachings of the Bible.
But that doesn’t mean that I am mindless. It doesn’t mean that I am blind to some of the difficulties of following a faith that occasionally seems at odds with common sense. (Now don’t get your feathers ruffled. I know that God’s ways are the wisest and best. I believe that with my whole heart. But that doesn’t stop me from wondering.)
Scripture tells us that the best way to nourish ourselves is by depending upon God and obeying Him. But to be honest, sometimes following what God seems to require involves some personal pain. Sometimes obeying Him feels like it’s hurting us rather than building us up.
So what do we do when faced with this situation? How do we live a good life while still being good to ourselves in the times when the two goals feel in opposition to each other?
Thoughts? Comments?
And don’t worry. The next post will be much lighter.
The Nourisher 
4 comments
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July 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm
memullin
I agree that this is a challenging question. I think how one defines “good” is important to the discussion. For example, James in his letter tells us that we should count it all joy when we fall into various trials. (Chapter 1) I don’t think his meaning is that it will be all joy, but rather if we consider the long-term work that trials or testing produce in our life (e.g. patience, refining, reducing self-focus), we will find it is “good” because it is beneficial for our future.
The difference between short-term good and long-term good is where the disconnect often occurs for me. In the short-term, I think it is good to eat lots of ice cream. However, I find it is not good for long-term maintenance of my girlish figure. Similarly, in the short-term, exposure to the sun feels good, looks good and seems to be good for me. Long-term it sends me to the dermatologist and threatens my life. How good is that?
July 20, 2010 at 9:33 am
the nourisher
Have wondered about that myself… Many a-times I’m having the prayer-thought –> “God, are you SURE this is what you’re telling me? Cuz I don’t think it can be… if I do that, I might lose my job…..surely You don’t want me be out of work, right? …… sooooo…no, you’re probably not telling me that….are you….God? Can you give me a HUGE sign cuz I am really really dense on this and I just don’t know…..” And you know what…even after several situations where He HAS given me obvious instances that could ONLY have been God, I STILL double & triple ask, cuz yeah lots of times it just doesn’t seem sensible. To me :o) But I really like the verse that says (in essence) a certain way may seem right to man but in reality God knows what’s the right way to go.
Here’s one instance. I got to work early & decided to go on the internet. After a while I noticed I’d gone into my work schedule time. For a brief moment I thought oh well, no biggie. It’s a slow day today so it’s not that big of a deal if I just cruise the web for a while. Then my screen freezes. Micro-second of thought that maybe that wasn’t an accident. Brush it off, close screen, go back to it, works fine. My email then says unavailabel at this time. That’s odd…was just working fine. Go to another webpage, testing. Yep, fine. Try to go back to mine. Nope. Again the thought — maybe I’m supposed to do less of my stuff & more of work stuff. A ‘God, give me a HUGE sign” moment. I tried to pull up my email again. And whoa — my work’s email screen comes up instead. Well. Ok. I get it. Work time. Sorry God — forgive my slacking AND my not hearing you the first times :o)
Becky
July 20, 2010 at 9:45 am
Diana N
Wow! So heavy things! [Can I just read the Bible?] 🙂 Here goes-
Jesus is love, when you love as He has loved us, you are both being good and nourishing yourself. Moral? Ethical? Everything that Jesus did was because he was showing us the Father, and doing what the Farther told Him to do.
In every thing that Jesus did, He did it in Love. In the Gospels He spoke the truth in love. He kept His promise/vow.
Life is not about ME, it is about me in Him, and Him in me. Taking up my cross and following Him is not fun, but when I die to myself, the end results = I nourish myself. [take my skin, I scrub off the old skin{dead skin} and it nourishes my skin] it is a paradox!
The Christian way is for our best even when we don’t understand how it can be so.
Keep the “nourishing” thoughts coming! And Laugh today! HA!
July 20, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Diane
I, too, am a traveler on a journey. As I recall Pilgrim’s Progress from reading it a long time ago, there are times when we take the wrong roads for whatever reason, and after journeying for awhile we discover the need to go back and get on the correct road. I would suggest that many of us have gone down the wrong roads a few times, and some of us need to retrace our steps and start over. I certainly have seen the same scenery from two directions a number of times.
You mention the following items: good to ourselves vs. doing good, living a moral and ethical life, and personal comfort vs. personal pain.
The way we approach these issues depends on what we hold most dear. You declare that you are a Christian; and, just for the record, because I know you I know that this is an absolutely true statement. But that declaration is very important, because the way a believer faces these questions is probably different from the way non-believers will face them.
Let’s begin by taking a look at one of the things you mentioned: living a moral and ethical life. What is a moral and ethical life? Most people would answer that question by listing some good things to do and some bad things to not do. Even most Christians would give this answer. But this is because we Christians have traveled down a side road and gotten off the road we are supposed to be on.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is the foundation of all religions. In other words, every religion is based on what a follower is supposed to do and what a follower is not supposed to do. (Just for the record, modern Christianity is a religion, despite the cries of “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship.”) But in the garden we were not supposed to eat from that tree. And among the things Jesus did was to restore living by the tree of life for those who have received Him.
Another way to look at this is to consider the difference between the Old Covenant and the New Covenant. The Old Covenant was external and the New Covenant is internal. The Old Covenant was following rules, and even if they were followed to the best of one’s ability, one was not changed inside. Hence the need for annual sacrifices. Jesus even told the Pharisees, who were the best at keeping the rules, that they were beautiful graves. On the outside they looked good, but on the inside they were dead.
The New Covenant is internal. It is living by the divine life that Jesus places within each believer at the time that he/she receives Jesus. It is asking the question, “What is Jesus doing through me right now?” And “How is He doing it?”
Few believers are on this road because most believers are taught that there are many things they have to do to please God. The fact is, they can’t please God. Only one can please God, and the Father said who it two or three times in the Gospels: “This is my son in whom I am well pleased.”
Believing that we must do a list of things loads us up with condemnation and guilt when we fall short, which we always do. Paul wrote that there is now no condemnation for them that are in Christ Jesus. Jesus came to set us free. By believing or, worse yet, telling a believer that they must follow a bunch of rules we are promoting guilt; and, in fact, we see a whole lot of that in Christendom. Check Colossians 2:14 in the NIV to see what Paul writes about the rules.
The other two things you mentioned can be lumped together. In today’s American church, and to an extent around the world, we are taught and we believe in the gospel of comfort. If I am uncomfortable or in pain it is Jesus responsibility to fix it. If I am uncomfortable or in pain, I must not be doing something right, and when I get the sin forgiven or stop doing the unacceptable activity I will become comfortable. This is another wrong road. There is nothing in the New Testament that teaches this.
In fact, Jesus teaches just the opposite. He said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” We don’t like this verse because it contradicts the gospel of comfort. But Jesus wasn’t kidding. Following Jesus is not about me, it is about Him! And then it is about others. My comfort and my pain is secondary. The New Testament also teaches that in this life we will have troubles. Jesus is our model. How concerned with comfort was He?
This note is already too long so I won’t add any more. But the subject of living by the indwelling life of Christ is a mysterious concept to most believers. They have no idea how to live by anything other than a list of do’s and don’ts. However, since living by His indwelling life is the reason that Jesus went to the cross, it would be well for believers to pursue this subject until they understand it. And lest you think I just fell off the milk wagon because I didn’t write that Jesus went to the cross to pay the price for our sins (which He did!), I will remind you that the Bible says that Jesus arose a life-giving spirit. Who’s life did He give? And what is the significance of it?
One last note. Every believer should read Jesus Manifesto by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola. It is about the centrality and the supremacy of Jesus. Most of us would say that we already got that, but I suggest that most of us know an insipid, weak Jesus. Once we meet the one displayed in Scripture we will never be the same. And this book, Jesus Manifesto, is a good place to start.
Rob Nelson